For today's teens, using a phone for talking is so last decade... A new survey has found that teens are much more likely to send their friends a text message than call them.

1. Texting and homework don't mix. A teen who is thinking about what their frind is texting them is not thinking about their Spanish vocabulary words. They may end up spending much more time on homework--with less to show for it. So have them put the phone somewhere else while they study.
2. Using a smart phone to cheat is dumb. Most teachers ban the use of cell phones during tests. Many teens ignore the ban. Let your teen know that cheating is always cheating, even if it is high-tech.
3. You are going to check their messages. Your teen can't "unsend" a message. Before they send a message, thy should pause to think about how you will react when you see it.

Source: A. Lenhart, "Teens, Smartphones & Texting," Pew Internet, http://pewinternet.org/~/media/Files/Reports/2012/PIP_Teens_Smartphones_and_Texting.pdf

• Acceptance. They accept themselves, realizing that she should try their best, knowing that no one is perfect. Everyone makes mistakes and has good qualities as well as faults.
• Self-value. A self-respecting teen takes care of their body, giving it enough food, exercise and sleep. They don't harm it with alcohol or drugs
• Appreciation of others' beliefs. They demonstrate that they believe others' opinions are important. Since they value themselves, they realize tha the beliefs of others have value as well.
• Forward-thinking. They see a future for themselves and keep their goals in mind when faced with a difficult situation.
• Desire to learn. Because they have goals, a self-respecting teen appreciates the hard work that others, such as parents and teachers, have done. They look to them as positive role models.

Discuss which of these qualities your teen possesses. Work on reinforcing all of these qualities and developing their self-respect.

• He/She feels especially sad, tired or worried for two weeks or more
• He/She loses interest in things they have always enjoyed  
• He/She does not want to spend time with family or friends
• He/She changes his patterns of sleeping and eating. They may sleep a lot more of a lot less than usual. They may eat too much or barely eat at all
• He/She says he does not feel well, complaining of headaches, stomach pains, or other physical problems.
• He/She is irritable most of the time
• He/She has intense attacks of fear or panic.
• He/She talks about feeling worthless or about hurting themselves.

If you see the signs in your teen, call your doctor or schedule an evaluation by a mental health professional. if you are concerned about an immediate risk of harm, take your teen to a hospital emergency room.

Source: D. Greydanus, M.D., The American Academy of Pediatrics, Caring for Your Adolescent, Ages 12 to 21, Bantam Books.

• Encourage him/her to join a club or team that meets her interests. Extracurricular activities offer an easy way to meet a positive peer group.
• Get to know their friends. Encourage your teen to entertain friends at your home when you are there. Offer a safe space and a variety of snacks and sodas.
• Get to know the parents of your teens friends. Discuss the family rules they have established and the values they share with their children. See if there are areas, such as curfew times, where you can unite.

Source: K. McCoy, PhD., "Helping Your Teen to Find a Positive Peer Group," ParenTalk, www.tnpc.com/parentalk/adolescence/teens13.html.

• Send messages that are mean and threatening
• Spread Rumors
• Produce "I hate" pages or blogs
• Pretend to be the victim on social media sites to say or do hurtful things to others.

There are ways you can protect your teen from cyberbullying:

• Know the rules of social networking websites and remind your teen to never give out his/her passwords or personal information
• Become your student's "friend" on social networking sites to monitor their activitiy
• Remind them that any text message they send can be forwarded and read by others.

If your teen is a victim:

• Tell them not to respond to bullies--this will only encourage them.
• Keep a record of all messages from cyberbullies--don't delete them.
• Alert the authorites and/or the school of the problem.

Source: "Parents Still Make the Difference!" October, 2012, p. 3

1. Listen. Try to figure out what is causing the problem. Is the homework too hard? Is your student having trouble understanding the content?
2. Remember that you're only getting one side of the story. Your teen may not be the most objective reporter.
3. Encourage action. Once she is clear about the problem, she should talk with the teacher.
4. Monitor. Keep watching and listening. Are things improving? If not, see if you can meet with your teen and the teacher.

• Selecting Schools. Even if he wants to go to a particular college, it's a good idea for your teen to apply to more than one school. The school counselor can work with your teen to select schools that would be a good fit.
• Writing a recommendation. Many colleges ask school counselors to write a description of the student. Your teen can make the counselor's job easier by preparing a short resume that includes his major accomplishments in high school. It can also include things your teen does out of school.
• Staying on top of paperwork. From applications to student aid, there is a lot to keep track of. Most teens need parents and counselors to team up on this task!

Source: M. Taft and K. Rowe, "The Perfect Formula," American School Counselor Association, www.ascaschoolcounselor.org/article_content.asp?article=9611.

• Stick to a routine bedtime. Experts suggest 10 p.m. Tell them to dim the lights about an hour before bed to get their bodies ready to sleep.
• Make their room "sleep friendly". Keep the temperature cool. Turn off all music. Keep the computer and TV out of their room. Place the cell phone and charger in the kitchen at night.
• Don't oversleep on the weekends. If your teen usually gets up at 6 a.m. on weekdays, don't let them sleep until noon on Saturdays. That extra sleep confuses the body. One to two hours of extra sleep is plenty.

Taken from the March 2012 edition of High School Parents Still Make the Difference, Vol 19, No. 7

• Share some websites you like to visit. Ask your teen to show you where she gets her news.
• Make comparisons. Watch a news story on a television news show. Then go online to read how the story is covered.

Taken from the March 2012 edition of High School Parents Still Make the Difference, Vol 19, No. 7

• Go for the prized possession. If it is too much of a hassle to all of your teen's technology, aim for the item he loves most. If he's a gamer, take his Xbox. If he's always texting, take away his phone while he's grounded.
• Change the password. Your teen won't be able to access the Internet if you change the wireless password. He'll have to ask you for it, so you'll know when he's trying to get online--and that gives you a chance to remind him the Internet is for homework use only.
• Get help. If you don't feel tech-savvy enough to try any of these changes on your own, call your Internet or cell service provider. Many companies offer tools to allow you to restrict your teen's use of these services--like only letting text messages be sent or received by a phone during certain hours.

Taken from the March 2012 edition of High School Parents Still Make the Difference, Vol 19, No. 7